We are turning a fresh page on a brand new year. 2016 is done. 2017 holds a whole new supply of hopes and dreams. People make New Year’s resolutions and typically drop them within a few weeks. Parking lots at the YMCA are packed in January but tend to return to normal by February. Weight loss programs anticipate increased enrollment in January. 

Kingdom living is a topic worth considering as we embark on a brand new year. As we seek God’s blessings in the New Year, it makes sense to look at family relationships in light of God’s design for the family. God has a plan for family and church leadership that calls on men to lead. We don’t often hear much about God’s standard any more, but God has put the responsibility for leadership in the home and in the church on men. When men fail to lead, there will be a leadership void. The void must be filled and typically it is filled by a woman. Women are vital for any system to function well, but they are not men. If there is a leadership void in a family and neither father nor mother takes charge, then a child will lead. Leadership voids don’t exist for long.

We’ve all seen examples of mom-led families and child-led families. They do the best they can and manage to keep going, but they are not functioning at peak performance. For single moms, life is especially hard. Grandpas and uncles or other honorable men within the church need to help lead the children. Children need a mother and a father image and role model. Children innately know they need both and will be vulnerable to lesser role models if the void is not filled appropriately.

Much conflict within the family and the church is a direct result of the lack of clear male leadership. When faced with family conflict the overarching question is, “Who’s in charge here?” Being in charge means being responsible. A responsible person in charge is “where the buck stops.” The heart of a wife and her children long to hear a confident, compassionate, kind, and dependable dad say, “I am in charge. I’ve got this.”

In his book, Kingdom Man, Pastor Tony Evans writes about the lowering of the standard of manhood in our culture. He tells about watching his young son proudly dunk a basketball after practicing for months. After appropriately congratulating him, Tony then told him to raise the basket back up to where it belonged and try it again. He did and he couldn’t dunk it. But he kept trying and in time, he was able to. (Kingdom Man, p. 2) The point is that God has a standard for manhood and we need to raise the standard back up to kingdom level.

Pastor Evans says, “I don’t often have to look much further than the first pew to recognize casualties in the congregation that have occurred as a result of either the misuse, abuse, neglect, or confusion of kingdom manhood. . . .  It is as if we have fallen into an abyss of manlessness.” (Kingdom Man, p. 21)

God’s design and standard for leadership in the home and in the church is for men to lead. It is a kingdom concept and is sometimes also called complementarianism which means that the roles of men and women complement each other. The egalitarianism view maintains that the roles of men and women are interchangeable and equal with regard to leadership in the home and church. Egalitarianism is inconsistent with kingdom manhood and womanhood.

I invite you to read these Kingdom books by Pastor Tony Evans:

Kingdom Man: Every Man’s Destiny, Every Woman’s Dream

Kingdom Woman: Embracing Your Purpose, Power, and Possibilities

Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God’s Purpose with Your Pleasure

Raising Kingdom Kids: Giving Your Child a Living Faith

Dedicated to kingdom living,

Elsie