There is a small town in Illinois named “Normal.” It is right next to Bloomington, Illinois. We drove there recently for a wedding. Having grown up in Illinois, Irv and I are familiar with the town. What got our attention was the “Welcome to Normal” sign as you enter the town. I couldn’t help but say, “Fantastic! I’ve always wondered what “normal” looks like.” The sign prompted some conversation and a couple of questions. What is normal?  And is normal good? 

The word normal comes from the word norm and is based upon conformity to a set of norms or standards. The norms and standards are taught in the context of the community. Culturally, what determines the norms of the ...

Because communication is such a key factor in marital satisfaction, we need to understand some basic dynamics to make conversations between spouses easier, clearer, and better received. If we can master these our marriages will become exponentially more satisfying. Here are eight suggestions which Elsie and I have learned from couples we counsel.

1. Take turns. Each partner gets to be the complainer for fifteen minutes.
2. Don’t give unsolicited advice. If you quickly suggest a solution to your partner’s dilemma, he or she is likely to feel that you are trivializing or dismissing the problem.
3. Show genuine interest. Don’t let your mind or eyes wander.  Stay focused on your spouse. Ask questions. Make eye contact.
4. ...
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Life just seems hopeless and you feel stuck with no way out. You feel discouraged, trapped, and, to be honest, afraid. You're afraid things might never change and you’re wasting your life. 

What causes depression? The causes are many and varied. By definition, depression is a sense of hopelessness, of feeling trapped with no escape. It can be caused by the death of a dream. It can come on the heels of your greatest triumph (remember Alexander the Great who wept because there were no other worlds to conquer?) It can be caused by feeling overwhelmed by too many demands and too little time.

How do you deal with it? Here are five basic biblical principles drawn from the quintessential example of depression in the workplace, the...

My college-aged son and I sat in the Perkins Restaurant late on a Friday night. We had come for a late night burger. The conversation moved from food and sports to dating. He was single and wanted to know what to beware of as he dated women on campus. As a pastor/counselor I presented my thoughts in terms of red flags and the probability of marital success. As he and I talked about each of the signs I noticed that other college students gathered in adjoining booths to listen. Soon six other students, men and women, were listening intently to our “private” conversation. Based on the assumption that if none of the signs are present, there is 100% probability of the marriage being a success, each of the flags diminishes the ...