Someone asked me this question recently. I found myself trying to figure out what to say. We all know what love is, don't we … or do we? How do we explain and define it? What would you say? With Valentine's Day approaching, I think it is worth thinking about.

Irv and I showed a video clip to a couple recently on the subject of expectations. In the clip the wife came home from work on February 14th angry at her husband because she had not received flowers or candy at work like some of her female coworkers had. He assured her that he had a very big surprise waiting for her now . . . In the bathroom!! It was a brand new toilet with a big red bow on it!! Was she thrilled with her valentine gift? Not even a little bit. The point ...

As counselors, Elsie and I know it is a big deal when people contact us for counseling. It takes courage and humility to reach out for help. Individuals and couples often face challenges that seem insurmountable. They need to hear objective, experienced, biblical counsel and that is what we offer.

We have been trained to be objective and look at the facts. We have been taught to be objective by keeping our emotions in check. We utilize objective assessments such as the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis and PREPARE/ENRICH and we gather facts upfront from the Personal History Questionnaire which is designed to save fact-gathering time in session.

Elsie and I are experienced. Both of us have been counselors in churches and agencies for ...

In the ancient world walls were critical components to insure the safety of the occupants of a city. Some cities, such as Jericho, even had double walls with houses built into the walls (Rahab, the harlot's house for example). Walls were guarded by watchmen who alerted the city dwellers to invaders by blowing a trumpet. In fact God declares that watchmen on the walls who fail to warn the city of impending danger will be guilty before Him of the blood of every slain citizen of the city (Ezekiel 33:6). Walls were important for safety.  In order to conquer a city an invading army had to tear down the walls. This was a lengthy and complicated process often involving months of siege and the building of siege mounds and the use of ...

Elsie and I approach couple counseling a little differently. We meet separately with husbands and wives to work on their individual issues before bringing them together for marriage counseling. In fact, premature marriage counseling can actually do more harm than good. We have found that to be the case with couples in conflict.

Often we’ve been asked, “How will you know they are ready to begin marriage counseling? What will tell you that sufficient progress has been made to begin seeing the couple together to work on the marriage? We look for several things: are the individuals faithful to keep their appointments and do the homework assigned? Does their spouse see observable changes in how their mate speaks, behaves, thinks ...