Fathers are vital to children. The influence of a father, for good or bad, cannot be underestimated. God has designed the family so that both parents are essential to their children’s upbringing. Children need to see the uniqueness of each parent and how they complement one another. Parents are not interchangeable. Mothers cannot be fathers and vice versa. Both are necessary for the raising of their children. As an aside, single moms have the hardest job in the world. They need to find male role models (relatives—grandfathers, uncles) for their children so their children can learn how a man thinks and behaves.

Consider these three biblical examples of the influence of fathers on their children. The first example to consider is that of Eli, the high priest described in 1 Samuel 2:12-25, 3:12-14, 4:12-18. Samuel, the last judge of the nation of Israel, apprenticed under the tutelage of Eli. Eli’s two priestly sons, Hophni and Phineas, were worthless men. Why? Why does the Bible describe them as “worthless men” who “did not know the Lord” (2:12)? The answer is that though Eli rebuked his sons for their sins, his sons turned a deaf ear to his rebukes. Eli never took action to discipline his sons. He was a passive and perhaps absent father. He loved his position and his job as the high priest more than he did his family. This became apparent when Eli’s sons and all Israel went to war against the Philistines. The ark had been taken to the battle front by the army as a kind of talisman (4:13). Someone returned from the front lines and reported to Eli that his sons had been killed in the battle. That distressed Eli but when he heard that the ark had been taken, he fell backward from his chair, broke his neck, and died (4:18). Eli was like a lot of men who prioritize their work over their family. Men who leave the disciplining of their children to their wives.

The second example is another negative one. The influence of King David, a man after God’s own heart. David was not a good father. When his son, Amnon, raped his half-sister, Tamar, David was “very angry” but did nothing (2 Samuel 13:21)! When Tamar’s full brother, Absalom, heard of it, he waited, plotted, and after two years had Amnon murdered (13:28, 29). Again, when David was told he did nothing (13:39)! Absalom conspired against David to overthrow him as king. Instead of pursuing Absalom after Amnon was murdered, David’s heart “longed to go out to Absalom!” David was a passive father. His influence on his sons was negative. Instead of having taking action against Amnon for the rape of Tamar, he chose to get angry but gave no consequence.

My final example is a positive one. It is the relationship between the Lord Jesus Christ and His Father. Jesus deeply loved His Father and vice versa (Matthew 3:17, John 5:20). Jesus obeyed His Father and trusted Him implicitly (John 14:31). Knowing that His Father never lies and is totally trustable, Jesus willingly went to the cross to pay the price for sinners.

Godly fathers are a gift to children,

Irv