When does a boy become a man? In modern Christianity we have no definite event or time when that happens. In Judaism, when a young man reaches 13 years of age or older, a ceremony is conducted called a bar mitzvah. It means a “son of the commandments.” The idea is that he becomes responsible as an adult for his own actions and for keeping the Lord’s commandments. Prior to 13 his parents were responsible for his actions. The ceremony involves scripture reading, a meal, prayer, and gifts from friends and relatives. It is a clear rite of passage into adulthood within the Jewish community.
We are urging Christian fathers to conduct a similar rite of passage from childhood to adulthood for their sons at an event called a Manhood Ceremony. At that ceremony, the boy is being recognized as an adult within the Christian community. No longer considered a child, he will be responsible for his own actions. At this Manhood Ceremony we will celebrate him, pray for him, read scripture, dine with him, and gift him. It is a night never to be forgotten.
The Bible describes the transition from boyhood to manhood in 1 Corinthians 13:11, When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. There is a time to be a child and there is a time to stop being a child and be a man. A Manhood Ceremony formalizes that transition.
My grandson, Micah, recently went through a Manhood Ceremony. It involved 11 men who knew Micah well including me, his two uncles, his brother, Josiah, his new stepfather, his youth group leader, the Dean of Students at his school, his math tutor, and a church leader. Two men couldn’t attend but sent in written letters to Micah.
The men dined together on Famous Dave’s ribs with all the trimmings. It was a wonderful time of fellowship. Micah’s stepdad, Jon, and I were the hosts and I emceed the ceremony. Each man read his list of the qualities he saw in Micah and the advice he would give Micah as he becomes a man. This took about one hour and was emotional for some men. Micah listened carefully to what each man said to him. Micah responded to the men and thanked them for their words of wisdom. A gift and a Manhood Covenant were given to Micah to commemorate the evening. The ceremony took around two hours and was truly memorable not only for Micah but for every man who attended.
As a young man growing up in a Jewish home, did Jesus ever have a Bar Mitzvah when he was a young teen? The Bible never exactly says He did but there is a passage that hints that He may have. Consider Luke 2:42, 46 which says, And when He became twelve, they went up there (Jerusalem) according to the custom of the Feast (Passover) . . . And it came about that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them, and asking them questions. It doesn’t sound like a modern-day bar mitzvah but most of the ancient customs have changed since then.
An exhortation to Christian fathers of boys: consider conducting a Manhood Ceremony for your son. If you’d like information on how to do it, send an email to me and I’ll help you (woolfcounsel@gmail.com).
Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man,
Irv