Father’s Day is June 18, 2023. That being the case, I thought I’d write on what it takes to be a godly father. It has turned into a two-part article, so bear with me. Let me begin by saying not every man with children is a father. Fatherhood requires many qualities that some men do not have. It requires sacrifice that some will not give. Before I get into the requirements to be a godly father let me state that it is a blessing of God to be a father. Children are a blessing (Psalm 127:3-5). In addition to being a blessing, being a father is also a huge responsibility because children mirror their parents (Exodus 20:5). Children incorporate the values, beliefs, and behaviors they see in their parents. As the old saying declares about children, “more is caught than taught.”
Here are the requirements to be a godly father:
1. Training. First a godly father trains his children. He does this through two means: discipline and instruction (Ephesians 6:4). A lot has been written about disciplining children. Let me first describe discipline in the Old Testament. Under Old Testament law, discipline could result in the punishment of death for a rebellious child (Deut. 21:18-21). Fathers often disciplined utilizing the rod (Prov. 13:24) (“diligently” means consistently). Old Testament discipline always included verbal reproof because the result of reproof is wisdom (Prov. 29:15). In the New Testament discipline is both positive (i.e. saving money) and negative (i.e. rebuke, spanking, etc.)
What’s the purpose of discipline? Why is discipline required? Three basic reasons: a. discipline produces respect, peace, and righteousness (Heb. 12:8-11), discipline shows: love and preserves a godly life (Prov. 13:24, 22:6), and discipline produces delight in one’s mother and respect for one’s father (Prov. 29:15, 17).
Who should discipline the children? According to the Bible, fathers, not mothers, bear the responsibility of discipling the children (Eph 6:4; Col. 3:20-21; Hebrews 12:9). Can discipline be delegated to mother if the father is absent. Absolutely!
2. Instruction. Fathers are to instruct their children. Deuteronomy 6:6-8 tells us that fathers are to instruct their childrenin four areas:
a. Spiritual truths. How do they do that? By modelling their faith and values to their children. Again, more is caught than taught. Children will believe what they see not simply what they hear. Fathers will also instruct them through family devotions in how to apply the Word of God to life. Fathers will teach their children how to worship God both privately and corporately. Finally, father will teach them how to live the life of faith.
b. Practical matters. Fathers will teach their children how to work and how to use tools, etc. They will teach them how to handle money and how to save and the value of “delayed gratification” of desires. They will teach them proper table etiquette. They will instruct them to have respect for the opposite sex, for the elderly, for those in authority, and for the property of others. Fathers will teach their sons and mothers will teach their daughters about bodily hygiene. Finally, fathers will teach their sons about sex, sexually transmitted diseases, and sexual abstinence before marriage (mothers will teach daughters).
c. Morality. Fathers teach their children the values of honesty and integrity—both truth telling and truth-behaving. Fathers help their children understand the value of faithfulness in every area of life: marital, vocational, relational, spiritual, economic, etc. They teach them how to practice loyalty and how to be trustable. Finally, a godly father teaches other awareness: caring for the needs of others, caring for the planet, caring for the “next generation” of those who will follow us.
d. Intellectual learning. Godly fathers will ensure that academic instruction is being accomplished with their children to their satisfaction or they need to do it (Deut. 6:6-10). In addition, life circumstances present great occasions for teaching (“street smarts”).
More on how to be a godly father next month. To be sure, it isn’t easy to be a godly father. The standards and demands are quite high but with the help of our heavenly Father it can be done,
Irv